Arrival In New Zealand - April 26th

People often wondered what kind of travel mates Kelsey and I would make. Would our lifestyles clash? Would we be at each others throats after the first day? I can't say that these were unreasonable fears. For example; Kelsey's flight from Edmonton to meet me in Vancouver was delayed by forty minutes. This only gave her about 45 minutes to make it off her plane, get through any bureaucracy in between, and find me at the international departures gate. My response was to frantically secure some wi-fi, keep the Air Canada website as well as the Vancouver airport website on constant refresh to check her flight status, hypothesize scenarios by which I could potentially delay the flight without getting myself thrown in a security holding cell (i.e. steal the pilot's hat and refuse to give it back), and befriend the heavy-set guy with the converted airport transportation golf cart so that I could covertly slip him a $20 and have him pick her up, pretending she was enfeebled. What was Kelsey's response? To stop for a Double Chocolate Chip Frappacino at Starbucks along the way. I'm assuming she didn't hear the Air New Zealand desk worker butchering her last name over the intercom every few seconds. Regardless, she made it, and I didn't die of a heart attack at the ripe age of 22. So when people ask me if it is I who pushes her to do crazy things like bungee jumps I can respond with a resounding no. Kelsey knows what she wants and is not afraid to get it whenever she pleases, whether it be stopping for an overpriced coffee while an entire airline crew bites their nails with anxiety or jumping off some massive structures just for the hell of it, Kelsey Fernuik is twice the daredevil I am. That being said, I think I was a little underestimated in that department, which is why I hope to show that it we make, and will continue to make, a good travel team. The flight was, dare I say it, enjoyable. Without the use of drugs I was able to sleep for 7 of the 14 hours, the remainder of which were spent getting my ass kicked by the British version of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? that we could play with our presonal TVs and remote controls. We evaded the drug sniffing dogs and the customs officers found no trace of dirt, dog poo, or the like on our boots so we passed through the border in under an hour. As tourism makes up such a healthy portion of the New Zealand economy, everyone has been exceptionally nice to us. We were dropped off right at our hostel which is located in a posh neighbourhood just east of the Central Business District called Parnell. Our private, twin room has a view that is directly centered on the Sky Tower. I must say that I immediately liked Auckland. It's a delightful little hybrid of some of the cooler cities I've been to. You immediately feel the humidity and mugginess of Honolulu (as well as the palm trees), it has a downtown focus like Vancouver with an open street structure that is like a lesser-Berlin. It is similar to Seattle in that the port is right near the heart of the CBD and it has little flourishes of Europe here and there. Before I praise it too much I need to mention one very important detail; the public transport is shite. Transportation in general is shite as Auckland has developed quite the car culture with personal vehicle dependency clogging the hill covered city streets. They certainly are trying to accomodate everyone, but it appears as though some of their ideas were implemented a little too late. Case in point, we took the ''link'' bus which is supposed to expediate you in a loop through the city centre to all the main attractions. We got into such a backlog on Queen Street, the main thoroughfare, that we hopped off and walked in the rain to our bungee. Now would be a good time to mention one particular oddity. There is an astounding number of construction workers who have full construction outfits, toolbelts and all, but have cut their pants into booty shorts. It's nothing short of terrifying. Speaking of terrifying, bungee jumping! Do I have your attention now? It started out terrifying, the middle was terrifying, and it ended terrifying. Firstly because we thought we were late (damn public transit), luckily they weren't strict on timing. We got all harnessed up and they walked us out single file over the Harbour Bridge toting chains that kept us linked to the steel railing like well-trained dogs. It's a little cruel how they tease you as the bridge becomes higher and higher ever so slowly. Just when you're starting to get freaked out you come to a really steep set of stairs which you need to climb to enter the bungee pod. Once inside you can't really see where you're jumping to, perhaps to keep people from soiling themselves and deciding that it really isn't for them. The floor has a few glass panels if you cared to look down, most people didn't. It turns out that they make people jump according to weight, heaviest first. This means I was one of the first to go. I was all strapped up and ready when the guy told me to hold off for a few seconds because a boat was passing under the bridge and if I were to jump I would smash right through it (a reassuring thought, to say the least). You have no idea what you're getting yourself into until you put your toes over the ledge. Let me be perfectly clear, it is not for the faint of heart. I am fortunate that they count down really fast because I was definitely losing my cool for those last few seconds. You really don't have time to process everything you are experiencing on the way down. All the blood rushes to your head and you have literally no control over any aspect of your body. Before you know it you get snapped around like a slinky and you're coming right back up on a rebound. It at this moment you start to enjoy it, and wow do you ever enjoy it. It certainly is fleeting but the 3 bounces before you pull your safety tether which flips you right-side up are sublime, cathartic even. It finished with a calming ride as you are pulled to safety while enjoying the magnificent view of the Hauraki Gulf around you. Absolutely, positively the stupidest, most amazing, thing I've ever done. I have no idea how I'm going to psyche myself up for one that is over 3 times the height of this one but I have to somehow. If this explanation has been insufficient, here is the link to a video shot by Kelsey, as promised. Check back soon to find out whether we die in our first real test, driving scooters around Waiheke Island.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfqZbkgqlTU

The Vancouver Report/D-Day - Saturday April 23rd/Sunday April 24th

As some of you may have gathered, a handful of questionable characters have dictated the outcome of much of Vancouver. For the first two nights at my downtown hostel, my roommates were a pair of German robots planted in the larger half of my 4-bed dorm and programmed for two things; (1), to strategically be sleeping whenever I need to do access my things in the room and (2), to tease me into thinking they are waking up so I'd get excited about accessing my backpack without having to worry about noise, only for them to say 'excuse me, what time it is?' and then go back to sleep regardless of my response. For these reasons I slept in my clothes and didnt brush my teeth before bed (the sink was on the far side of the room, blocked by their stuff). This was further compounded by the homeless dude who prevented me from brushng my teeth in the starbucks washroom yesterday as he was undoubtedly taking his only bath for the week in the sink. I've been travelling enough to bite the bullet knowing that I was only in a rough patch and that either they would move out or I'd have to stop being Mr. Courtesy. Luckily I turned out to be right as I arrived last night to an empty room! Needless to say I took full advantage of my new freedoms. I took a sink shower in addition to my regular shower, perhaps to compensate for the lack of cleanliness in the nights before. I gave my teeth an extra long brushing and even did some push-ups on the cleared floorspace. I fell asleep at about 11pm after listening to my Ipod while feeling perfectly content with the world. It was just my luck that at a few minutes to midnight the 'Axe Murderer' came into the room. Before I have anyone worried, let me clarify that he wasn't a murderer and he didn't possess an axe. Rather he was some long haired freak who came shambling into the room with no regard for anyone who may have been inside. He announced his entrance by coating himself and everything else in the room with half a can of Axe deodorant body spray. After this ritual was complete he promptly went to sleep only to arise at 6am and repeat the entire process. I saw him for a combined total of about 45 seconds but his stench lingered long after he had gone. It was somewhat of a sour note to end another awesomely relaxed day that included lounging on the beach at English Bay without paying for parking, buying mini watermelons from a local produce market, and eating Memphis BBQ at Jericho Beach overlooking downtown with an awe-inspiring view of the northern mountains. This morning Peter took me on a ride down south into Richmond and he wasn't lying when he said it was '90+ percent Asian'. We got a taste of the overpopulation of a city like Tokyo as we were stuck in limbo in a poorly designed parking garage. Some dude making minimum wage who weilded a light stick like Obi-wan Kenobi pranced around in vain trying to ''force'' people to keep moving (get it? force?). We wandered a mall with a terrifying number of stores that were exclusively for the kind of Asian nick-nacks that have people like me scratching their heads in wonderment (read: anime figurines, etc). We ate lunch at a place whose name we couldn't pronounce, where we were the only caucasian patrons, and where the waiter returned shortly after taking our order to double check that I really wanted what I ordered as he figured I had just picked something at random and was sure I wouldn't like it. We are now sipping drinks at an airport bar and watching the Canucks lead the Blackhawks 2-1 in the 1st. We were forced to park a little ways away and take the Skytrain in rather than pay $4.25 per half hour for parking. As much as I'll miss the lifestyle I've let myself live in Vancouver, I most definitely will not miss the price tags.

The Vancouver Report - Friday, April 22nd

Hostelers golden rule: never expect to be able to sleep past 8am so prepare accordingly. After the craziness of day one I figured I'd slow down a bit for Friday knowing that I have plenty of time to live it up in the weeks to come. Peter picked me up at 11am by Canada Place in his flatmates Skyline (who had borrowed his truck to move some things) and we proceeded to do what he claimed was ''about 140'' over the Granville Street bridge. I had an instance similar to Seattle where I saw something so delicious looking that I had to have it regardless of the cost. In Seattle it was a $20 piece of fudge whereas on Granville Island it was a $11.50 tub of fresh raspberries. We walked those off for what seemed like a few minutes when Peter declared it was time for all-you-can-eat sushi at a place in Burnaby he frequented as an engineering student. I'm a little disheartened to admit I didn't eat so much that I put them out of business as my stomach was sending me mixed signals as to what it required at that time. It turns out what it needed was a little nap. I passed out for a little while in Pete's basement suite and it was exactly what the doctor ordered. I demanded that we try to eat something a little less rich for dinner so we went to Safeway and got the ingredients for broccoli soup and jerk chicken salads. Needless to say it was amazing. Peter went to culinary school on the very Granville Island we were at in the morning and it shined through in his idea to add cheese to the broccoli soup. We had a quiet evening that ended with me discovering that my talents at rhythm games (i.e. Rock Band) aren't what they once were. I had assumed all the excitement for the evening would be through when Pete dropped me off infront of my hostel at 10:30ish, however this wasn't so. The hostel gives its guests keys for the front door so they can get in after hours, and they were quite adamant that we don't let anyone in who doesn't have a key as there are quite a few derelict individuals on East Hastings a few blocks away. As I approached the door a rather unusual gentleman appeared behind me. He had a classy blazer overtop of a thrift store t-shirt, as well as a designer haircut which conflicted with a fresh, bleeding wound to the side of his face. He claimed he had forgotten his key and asked if I'd let him into the hostel. Naturally I told him to beat it before I gave him a matching cut on the other side of his face (perhaps it was in nicer terms, I can't remember exactly). He proceeded to explain that he was a movie star who was shooting a rooftop scene next door and that their make-up/wardrobe was put in the hostel for budgetary reasons. It was difficult to get past his appearance but he had an eloquent Ian McKellan-esque voice (which as David Cross would say, he ''weilded with a mighty, actor-y fist''). Shortly thereafter another equally as odd looking extra appeared and confirmed his story. In this way I was able to avoid the embarassment of being the guy who denied Mr. Homeless-Gandalf the right to get the fake blood removed by his make-up team. It all amounted to a lovely chat once we got inside where he showed me the 108 page script he had on him (to which I later remarked would've made his story infinitely more believeable in the first place). Moral of the story: If you want a decent sleep in a hostel, go to bed early as you will be up due to noise and light by 8am, but always allow yourself that little bit of extra time in case you have to sort out the affairs of people who have an equal chance of being movie stars, homeless, or wizards.

The Vancouver Report for Thursday, April 21

If day one is any indication of the rest of my trip, I'm in for one intense adventure. My extensive planning saw everything work out smoothly timing-wise. The flight to Vancouver was only an hour and 15 minutes and I was able to walk into lunch at the Templeton on Granville right at 3 to meet the newly bearded Peter, a server who I had befriended at my old job at the Keg. On Pete's recommendation we got the $5 Pulp Fiction-esque Candybar Whirl milkshakes which were worth every penny. Combine that with a mushroom burger and garlic mash and you've got yourself one tasty dish to start the trip off right. We proceeded to walk along False Creek while discussing politics. If Pete indeed knows what he's talking about then my advice to you is avoid the Conservative party like a grinning homeless man. I use this analogy because just such a man has approached me as I write this in a downtown Starbucks, perhaps intruiged by the shiny lights of my laptop. I bought the chap a coffee and now he holds a solitary watch over me such that I won't be bothered by anyone else. Continuing on, Pete and I grabbed a drink in the gay neighbourhood aka the West End and I foolishly dropped my wallet while switching tables. Long story short, we called back and they had found it so all it cost me was a $15 round trip cab ride. I'm actually glad it happened because I will be uber-cautious from here on out. The Tame Impala concert was sufficiently badass, they had this video screen that projected wacky lights that were somehow connected to the guitarists strings. All the stoners were cheering at every twang of the strings that was followed by a flash of neon, dancing light. Before the show I bought two damn expensive nutella crepes from a guy fresh off the boat from France. I guess that made them more authentic but it didn't help me stomach the fact that they were $6.50 each. We followed this up with an assortment of Canadian beers and some vodka shot that Peter called a Chocolate Cake despite that fact that they didn't carry chocolate vodka at the venue. I'm certain I pissed of my fellow hostel-ers last night and this morning stumbling in like a drunken fool. I slept in my clothes and made an awful racket in the morning trying to sort out where all my stuff was in my ludicrously oversized backpack. My earl grey tea is running out so I'm going to go brush my teeth in the Starbuck's washroom and hope that my homeless sidekick doesn't decide to turn on me after all. I took a few pictures out on English Bay so I might upload them to Picasa web and post a link so I can test out how that is going to work for the future. The only plan I have for today is to go with Peter in his friend's right-hand drive Skyline to some all-you-can-eat sushi place in East Van. I'm lucky I'll be walking so much because so far this trip has been extremely unhealthy. Last thing I have that is worth mentioning is that Peter used his iPhone to look up which buildings in downtown Vancouver are the equivalent height of my tallest bungee jump, and I definitely had a moment of complete panic when I looked up at them.

Departure's Eve

I've discovered that I have somewhat of a knack for writing. Not necessarily writing well, but writing lots. I have gotten many compliments as of late pertaining to my ability to type out my stream of consciousness in a surprisingly coherent manner. This was necessary to complete some of my lengthier school papers, most of which was admittedly filler but done in such a way that I was able to fool a PhD here and there into awarding me some highly respectable grades. It is thus rather fitting that, at my time of greatest need, all the years of writing plausible bullshit simply to appease professors revealed itself to be worth it as it afforded me enough time to see my good friend Jared one last time before I leave. I had one last exam to write today before I could officially consider myself a University graduate. This 6:30pm Canadian history final stood between me and a proper goodbye with a deserving friend who needed to be at his night shift for 9:00. Knowing I was pressed for time, I called on whatever powers that existed inside me to aid in writing the most thorough, believable essay in the shortest time humanly possible. The clock struck 6:30 and my pen hit the paper. I'll spare you the finer details but a mere 50 minutes later I handed in a thing of utter beauty. I certainly knew a thing or two about the topics at hand but I was throwing around words like 'bourgeois' with reckless abandon; the end result being something much grander (and hopefully much more deserving of an A+) than that which may have been written by the hand of a younger, more inexperienced Colin. Just to ruin any momentum I may have built up here, the goodbye occurred within its time frame and was, well rather uneventful. As a fellow who has been on many adventures himself, Jared was quick to realize that we'd more than likely meet again sooner rather than later and as such it wasn't an emotional affair. I preferred it that way, at least when compared to the near-tears experience that a call from a grandmother can bring about. I guess what I'm trying to do here is sensationalize the final moments leading up to my deparutre. I've planned this for far too long and now it's finally happening. Sadly it didn't amount to a better story, I guess I could've flipped off the President of Concordia, stripped off all my clothes and burnt the school down but there's always next time, right? Here's to hoping that I won't have to sensationalize my New Zealand shenanigans. Lastly, I am going to Vancouver for 4 days and 3 nights before my Auckland flight to meet up with an old friend from The Keg, Peter. I haven't gotten anything terribly exciting planned as it seems appropriate for me to just lounge in the sun after many years stuck in a classroom, no? I'll be sure to keep everyone posted if I decide to do something reckless. It just passed midnight so I guess I leave today, perhaps I should get to bed. Goodnight Edmonton! See you when I see you.

An Introduction/One Week Until Departure

Since I was foolish enough not to bring a camera with me on my travels to Ireland I have decided to embrace technology to the full extent of the law this time around and keep a travel journal in the form of a blog and an online Picasa web album. In addition, I plan to upload as many cool videos as I can to Facebook, the first of which will concern our bungees. Yes, It's official. Kelsey and I have booked the '5 pack'. By this I mean 4 bungee jumps (or bungy jumps, as it is spelled in New Zealand) and one ''swing'', the highest commerically run swing in the world. To add an exclamation point to our insanity, we are doing the first bungee on the day we arrive. If everyone would collectively say a prayer for us at 2:30pm Auckland time on Tuesday April 26th that would be lovely. This 40m jump off the Auckland Harbour Bridge is the first in a series which will culminate with the pants-soilingly high Nevis jump in Queenstown on the South Island which is a mere 134m (to put this in perspective, that is the equivalent of jumping off the top of the Telus building in downtown Edmonton). Hopefully this first post has set the mood for what is to come and piqued your interest for further posts to come. That is all for now, this is Colin signing off.