The Vancouver Report/D-Day - Saturday April 23rd/Sunday April 24th

As some of you may have gathered, a handful of questionable characters have dictated the outcome of much of Vancouver. For the first two nights at my downtown hostel, my roommates were a pair of German robots planted in the larger half of my 4-bed dorm and programmed for two things; (1), to strategically be sleeping whenever I need to do access my things in the room and (2), to tease me into thinking they are waking up so I'd get excited about accessing my backpack without having to worry about noise, only for them to say 'excuse me, what time it is?' and then go back to sleep regardless of my response. For these reasons I slept in my clothes and didnt brush my teeth before bed (the sink was on the far side of the room, blocked by their stuff). This was further compounded by the homeless dude who prevented me from brushng my teeth in the starbucks washroom yesterday as he was undoubtedly taking his only bath for the week in the sink. I've been travelling enough to bite the bullet knowing that I was only in a rough patch and that either they would move out or I'd have to stop being Mr. Courtesy. Luckily I turned out to be right as I arrived last night to an empty room! Needless to say I took full advantage of my new freedoms. I took a sink shower in addition to my regular shower, perhaps to compensate for the lack of cleanliness in the nights before. I gave my teeth an extra long brushing and even did some push-ups on the cleared floorspace. I fell asleep at about 11pm after listening to my Ipod while feeling perfectly content with the world. It was just my luck that at a few minutes to midnight the 'Axe Murderer' came into the room. Before I have anyone worried, let me clarify that he wasn't a murderer and he didn't possess an axe. Rather he was some long haired freak who came shambling into the room with no regard for anyone who may have been inside. He announced his entrance by coating himself and everything else in the room with half a can of Axe deodorant body spray. After this ritual was complete he promptly went to sleep only to arise at 6am and repeat the entire process. I saw him for a combined total of about 45 seconds but his stench lingered long after he had gone. It was somewhat of a sour note to end another awesomely relaxed day that included lounging on the beach at English Bay without paying for parking, buying mini watermelons from a local produce market, and eating Memphis BBQ at Jericho Beach overlooking downtown with an awe-inspiring view of the northern mountains. This morning Peter took me on a ride down south into Richmond and he wasn't lying when he said it was '90+ percent Asian'. We got a taste of the overpopulation of a city like Tokyo as we were stuck in limbo in a poorly designed parking garage. Some dude making minimum wage who weilded a light stick like Obi-wan Kenobi pranced around in vain trying to ''force'' people to keep moving (get it? force?). We wandered a mall with a terrifying number of stores that were exclusively for the kind of Asian nick-nacks that have people like me scratching their heads in wonderment (read: anime figurines, etc). We ate lunch at a place whose name we couldn't pronounce, where we were the only caucasian patrons, and where the waiter returned shortly after taking our order to double check that I really wanted what I ordered as he figured I had just picked something at random and was sure I wouldn't like it. We are now sipping drinks at an airport bar and watching the Canucks lead the Blackhawks 2-1 in the 1st. We were forced to park a little ways away and take the Skytrain in rather than pay $4.25 per half hour for parking. As much as I'll miss the lifestyle I've let myself live in Vancouver, I most definitely will not miss the price tags.