June 29th - The Pretty Practical Parable

I’ve decided to take a different, albeit familiar approach to my current predicament as I’ve found that my current choice of wallowing in self-pity isn’t an efficient tool to dig oneself out of a period of stagnation. Allow me to explain; it’s no secret that I still have a laundry list of huge and ambitious endeavours I wish to accomplish and that by being so damn meticulous in my pre-trip planning and so scrupulous in my saving I have afforded myself the luxury of being able to survive, if not laugh in the face of this lull in progress. In retrospect, times like these are a forgotten part of the reason I came here. In that funny way that the worst times of Ireland became my fondest memories, so too shall I make the hardships of New Zealand become my greatest triumphs. The satisfaction of outsmarting all the curveballs life throws at you trumps all the other cheap thrills combined. Yes, the chink in the armour of this particular roadblock will be found and exploited the same way any steadfast traveller will find it, with a little luck and a lot of hope. While I was once of the mind that one couldn’t influence the other it has never ceased to amaze me how the former resulted from the latter ever since I arrived here. A big reason why this trip has been a resounding success so far is because of the positive outlook I’ve had since arrival because, if you haven’t noticed, I’m in the middle of making a dream into a reality. Rather than continue to bore you all with more longwinded prose that flirts with the idea of divulging some life lessons I am henceforth declaring a return to form; a resurrection of the fun-filled stories of yesteryear when I was not a cynical jobless pessimist but a free spirited bohemian with nothing plaguing my mind except the desire to regale everyone with the sensationalized accounts of my exploits. So, without further ado, I present the following true stories; here’s to hoping they incite me to implant myself into more situations worthy of retelling and thus revive the blog to its former glory!

My Californian friend Chelsea and I decided to take advantage of ‘Wellington Open Day’ this past Sunday where all the city’s attractions were available to enter by gold coin donation. Our first stop was the zoo which, like most other tourist traps, would normally cost one about $20. Upon entering we noticed a clever money-saving technique being employed; rather than actually housing any animals in the cages it appeared as though they just filled them with props to make it look like the animal’s habitat and neglected to actually have put the animal advertised on the sign inside. It’s actually rather ingenious; think about it, if anyone asked one could just say that the critter was sleeping or hiding and the illusion created by the carefully staged habitat would satisfy most people. Then again, maybe they were indeed sleeping or hiding and my lack of patience got the better of me though I prefer my reasoning to anything more rational. Being that it was essentially free to get in the zoo was especially busy that afternoon which meant we had to contend with armies of hyper children and parents with strollers. Despite arriving 15 minutes early for the endangered species viewing we still had an obscured view. The zookeeper was trying earnestly to give a speech concerning the conservation efforts for some of the animals in question but was being constantly interrupted by a six year old out front who was intent on being the center of attention. While explaining how a tuatara can hold its breath for over an hour the kid began boasting how he could easily outdo the lizard in a breath-holding competition. Before I could ponder whether or not to fight my way to the front of the crowd to slap some sense into him, the star attraction was unveiled; Tahi the one legged kiwi. They are a lot bigger than I’d anticipated but because he only had one leg he didn’t do much other than just sit there. Luckily for me there was a kiwi enclave nearby where a few are free to run around in a simulated environment. Unluckily for me, kiwis are nocturnal, and the room was near pitch black and filled with screaming children. I wanted to punch this one father who was gleefully stripping leaves from a tree in an endangered species zone and throwing them on his son’s head. Who does that? That’s like taking a famous painting off the wall and using the corners to scratch your ass. Other highlights of the zoo included seeing an otter trained to do tricks, being inches from two giraffes that got their necks entangled, and finally seeing a kangaroo. That evening I put forth an admirable effort to cook Cornish pasties for my roommates and Chelsea but it ended in failure, though nothing a little re-fry couldn’t fix. The chocolate chip cookies I baked for dessert more than made up for the undercooked main course and all was forgiven. It was a full day, and a fine one at that, a welcome change from the crushing disappointments and stress of job searching. Perhaps inspired by the day’s events I awoke the next morning and decided to pursue the gig as a delivery driver such that it would force me to purchase a vehicle making it easier to recreate days like last Sunday. I now play the waiting game, I find out this afternoon if I have the job that will see me make $5.50 per delivery and if it is a go then I am getting the car I went to inspect last night. Much like the shoes I got for free, to the chagrin of Kelsey, the car is about as ugly as they come. The upholstery is falling apart and the passenger side window was smashed by some hooligans, but most importantly it runs just fine. Most people would be put off by the aesthetics of the beast but thus I will be able to take advantage of the low price tag (about $750 Canadian) and with a little TLC, the car, along with myself will be back on our feet. I's not pretty but it's practical, like how I plan on tackling things from now on.